• debraevansconsulting

Needy or Sacred Thirst?




I felt inspired today to write a note about Sacred Lust & Longing, only to find that I’d already written it. And here it is ….

I’m at home when I’m out of control.


Through these gates its delicious to open, to embrace, create or discover the intense surprises to the left or right of the narrow ego strip my mind habitually hangs out in. The ego world - a wall papered construct with illusions of safety but with no real signs of Life.

The truth is I’m an unknown quantity, unknown to myself until the tipping point is reached and I hand over the reins. Sexually especially is when S-HE, the super-sensuous auto-pilot, takes over control & relaxes into free-fall with the coordinates of the ‘Heart of the Temple’ already set.

Outer landscapes & mind trips give way to a changing kaleidoscope of subtle & profound ecstasies as Shakti meets Shiva on a carpet field of Wild Adoration.

A while ago I engaged a new Lover. To my eyes, he was the closest physical embodiment of my ‘inner masculine’ seen or encountered for many moons.


The first move of my hand was in reverence & deep appreciation for the exquisite familiarity of this stranger I had known for Aeons. Supra conscious was I, fully present yet lost in the rarest of opportunities to mine, to touch, to feel & to dance the ecstatic currents again, ‘as one flesh.’

In the weeks that followed I felt fully ‘met’ every moment S-HE showed up.


With the Doors of the Temple ajar every breathe a prayer & every moment a rare taste of H’om’e and Sacred Rest.

With no personality wrappers that fit what outer story goes with this?

Maybe just this one.

Maybe its a story about uncovering sacred needs without knowing you had them, or even what they truly are?

Maybe its about finally having a yardstick or sacred measure with which to recalibrate & reorient towards H’OM’E. For year I had richly dedicated my journey to my own ‘inner’ couple.


A conscious compass setting towards the ‘Heart of the Temple & The Holy Couple.


My eye had increasingly become single & drawn towards The Great LOVERS, not just revered icons held sacred at the center of a religious or spiritual tradition, but increasingly as the Guiding Lights & Way Showers to the ecstatic Core of My Heart.

This, the Lovers Path, the Holy food of the Muse, the burning inspiration of Poets & Painters and the Vision of Artists throughout the ages. Great sculptures are wrought & Temples erected as ecstatic tastes of the MOST HIGH beacon us H’OM’E.

I’ve increasingly ‘felt’ in holographic resonance with the GODHEAD at the Center of this GREAT EXISTENCE. Made in the ‘Image & Likeness’ AM I, are WE.

One Holy question was this , “if you are enough anchored in your own ‘Inner Sacred Partnership’, does it call forth an outer manifestation?”

The answer increasingly is yes, but not to be lost in form, but to be informed by the Life & the very Breath of the Indwelling Spirit & Ecstasy of The GODHEAD.

Love Relationships are a portal to GOD.

Messages from Saints & Sages through the Ages all point to the ‘coming together’ of the Masculine & Feminine in US. This is a Great Love Affair of not just epic, but of Cosmic Proportions and more than that this is Our LIFE.

This “Sacred Relationship’ is at the ‘Heart of The Temple Mysteries’ and SEX is The Way shower. The goal is to merge & marry these ‘Two Flames’ inside You until everything that is NOT the Ecstasy of The Godhead is burnt away and you stand naked in the EYE. Outer relationships & marriage is a practice arena. All outer relating is poly in this view.


Til death do us part relates to the “inner” monogamous couple and the realm of the Inner Beloved.

SEX is a taste of the DIVINE ecstasy of ‘coming together’ as ONE within our Own Nature.

SEX is the Great ALCHEMY that builds the Fire that perfects the KEYS that open the GOLDEN GATE to the FLAMING HOLY ALTAR of The ONE.

What a perfect INITIATION & what a perfectly imperfect Path to IT.


What a contorted Mystery full of smoke & mirrors yet with such clear guidance if you’re willing to risk letting go of your own ‘ideas’ about how you thought You wanted it or would like it to be. It's like the Big ‘YOU’ has cast the little ‘you’ in the star ring role in your life drama, but failed to fill in all the details on the plot. We all know the actors aren't in charge of the script, however much they embody the character. Sometimes the scenes aren’t just scenes, they’re initiatory encounters designed to hurl you into the ‘Fire of the Abyss’ or to burn away fears or illusions and at the same time taste like Hope. Sometimes they restore your faith in the ‘Mysterious Ways of the Universe’ & sometimes they take it away.

At the Heart of the Sexual act is the Prima Materia for Existence Itself. I willingly attach myself to all forms of Its Ambrosia & Ecstasy.

I long for ever deeper tastes of the ‘Great Symphony’ that brings all parts of the personal and transpersonal realms together, soaked and seared & ecstatically birthed in ME. My Body Temple is made for this ALCHEMY.

The Sacred Thirst of My Longing brings me to the Fiery yet Quenching Field of My Own Deliverance.

What challenges Me or You to stay away from this Epic Encounter?

Is True courage about facing Primal Fears or perhaps Primal Ecstasies?

Individual and collective fear & wounding feels like it has the same root. Massive core abandonment.


And at the Heart of that, the growing recognition that we abandon our True SELF virtually every second of the day.

What will does it take to say, this is My life and it is a Life well lived.


At least Today.

Let the question of what turns me “ON” or you on, be a deeper inquiry about LIFE-FORCE. Let the gaping hole of wantonness and desire and longing be celebrated as the Sacred Hunger it is, for a deeper and richer and more profound Existence!

Increasingly I think I need a warning label that says, ‘Be ( a)ware’ A (sexually) Awakened Woman” resides here. A Woman who is surrendered to LIFE and the energy of Bliss as a potent drive as well as ‘Beacon’ towards H’OM’E.

Let the sacred seeds of my deepest needs & desires ravish & devour me and bust out of the bedroom and spill into every area of my LIFE.

Get Your Shiva ON Get Your Shakti ON

Get Your Sacred Fire ON Get Your Passion ON, Get Your Presence ON ...

And from a great line in a new movie, maybe It's time to ‘Get Your fuck ON.

I feel ‘F I N E’ sometimes hides that fact that we really feel “’ sometimes hides that fact that we really feel “Fucked up, Insecure, Needy & Emotional. There are so many masks that veil the SuperHero of Our own Epic Adventure. It's time to respond more fully to the Wild Potency of Our Eternal Nature.

Let Lust for that MYSTERY be Undefended and Unashamed.

You’re not a fool for Your Desires or Your Needs or Your Sacred Longings, You’re a Fool if You don’t have any!

Dance with Your Wildness and Your Truth Telling and if No-one is around to Listen - Dance with Your Wildness and Your Truth Telling and if No-one is around to Listen - the Wind Will.



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